Assuming I’m just an old lady was your first mistake shirt, hoodie, tank top, sweater and long sleeve t-shirt


When starting pre-school and kindergarten, Assuming I’m just an old lady was your first mistake shirt and my mother made an effort to push me into communicating with other children and making friends instead of being physically aggressive. I listen more than talk. Since the other children loved to talk, it was easy for me to get away with just listening, rather than doing much of the talking myself. To the relief of the adults, I started to stop being such a little shit. I stopped being physically aggressive for a little while and acquired another hobby. I thought of it as a game, learning how to make others uncomfortable or upset with words and questions. It was entertaining and exciting, listening to the stories they tell, picking out the things that upset or frighten them and making that the topic of conversation instead. When I was around eight years old, my mother started taking me to a psychiatrist. I was diagnosed with ADHD and put on medication that made me even less talkative and dulled my feelings to the point where I felt nothing throughout most of the day. I started living mostly in my own head and ignoring others, because most of the time I just didn’t even feel motivated to do things that I enjoyed. My mother took me off of the medication when I was twelve, but a lot of that emotional dullness lasted. Even through high school, when I started to behave aggressively again, I would feel little emotionally if I wasn’t hurting others. As a teenager, if that still counts as being a child, I was much worse. I had a better understanding of the impact of my hurtful actions and chose to commit those actions anyway for my own pleasure. I simply didn’t care and had no empathy, compassion, or sympathy for the pain of others. Not even for people I considered friends. When I wasn’t busy being a dick, I preferred the company of myself and my books. I enjoyed my solitude and silence, people were just things I needed to get that euphoric high. Very rarely did I enjoy the company of others. That’s what I was like as a child. My behavior is much better now as an adult, with more self-awareness and impulse control, but I’m still learning. What didn’t come naturally was socialization. Assuming Im just an old lady was your first mistake shirt

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