70s Retro Soul Shirt, hoodie, tank top, sweater and along sleeve t-shirt

I hadn’t been crazy all those years when I stayed up at night fearing death and disease. A lot of my bratty response to my mom’s understandable worrying came from a place of internalized judgment about my own privilege 70s Retro Soul Shirt, which I’ve since learned to balance somewhat. (As Zadie Smith wrote in her quarantine manifesto Intimations, “Suffering is not relative; it is absolute.”) Some of it, though, came from a genuine unflappability fortified by years of preparing for the worst. Here, at long last, was the Bad Thing; I hadn’t been crazy all those years when I stayed up at night fearing death and disease. Suddenly it was here, all around me, and thanks to the work of mutual aid organizers who made community care feel possible in those early pandemic days, I actually felt like I was in some small position to help (even if it was just through donating money, or delivering groceries to neighbors).

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