Funny Sumbitch Shirt, hoodie, tank top, sweater and along sleeve t-shirt

I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a healthier, happier shift in someone. She told me recently that she woke up one day and had a true Damascene moment: Why am I sending 60 emails a day? Why am I worried about buying a one-bed studio on a road I never wanted to live on anyway? Why am I wasting my life? Fuck, I thought as I sat across from her and gulped down my third glass of skin-contact wine at an all-paleo big-plate sharing dinner. Am I wasting mine? Last week I spent 9 hours and 46 minutes a day, on average, on my phone. Last week I wanted to spread some butter on toast between back-to-back Zoom meetings, but I hadn’t taken the Funny Sumbitch Shirt and I love this butter out of the fridge in time for it to soften, and when it was hard and tore my toast in two, I screamed at it, my body gripped with intense physical rage. Last week I had sex only once, and I worked out more times than I ate breakfast. It is seen as both right and noble to follow your dreams to the detriment of all your other desires.

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