Guns America Runs On Crime Shirt, hoodie, tank top, sweater and along sleeve t-shirt

In 2016, the day after Philando Castile was fatally shot by a police officer during a routine traffic stop in front of his girlfriend and small child, I struggled to focus at work. Meanwhile, white colleagues continued to buzz around the office Guns America Runs On Crime Shirt, going about business as usual. Compelled to do something, I wrote an article highlighting the work of an organization promoting Black Lives Matter, but I refused to take on the emotional labor of facilitating any forums or discussions within my office. It felt like leadership’s responsibility to set the tone around this issue and deliver a message of support for their Black employees. Later that evening, after most people had gone home, I dropped by the office of a fellow Black colleague and broke down in tears of frustration as we talked about the strain of carrying the immense weight of this tragedy while smiling and nodding at white colleagues who were chatting about vacation plans or other more frivolous concerns. Sometimes I wondered, had I made my white colleagues so comfortable that they had somehow forgotten I was Black? I realize now that prioritizing white comfort had actually had a numbing rather than a transformative effect.

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